Chapter XLIX opens with Strap delivering a formal duel challenge from Rourk Oregan, a scruffy, impoverished Irish immigrant who claims Melinda is promised to him and demands a meeting at the back of Montague House. The narrator travels to the site, where Oregan’s pistol misfires, and the narrator’s shot misses. The narrator gains the upper hand, and Oregan explains he hopes to marry Melinda for her £10,000 fortune, having been told by his friend Gahagan that no woman can resist a brave, charming man, and that the “promise” he referenced was only Gahagan’s assurance of his suitability. The narrator laughs at Oregan’s naivety, feels sympathy for his desperate situation, and gives him two guineas; Oregan is so grateful he abandons his claim to Melinda, and shows the narrator his Imperial army commission and his deceased captain’s duel challenge as proof of his honesty and courage. As they walk back to town, Strap arrives with a file of musketeers to arrest the narrator for dueling, having peeked through his keyhole that morning and seen him load his pistols. The corporal releases the narrator when he confirms the duel is over, and Oregan arrives moments later with two ragged, half-clothed friends (a scholar compiling a history of Irish kings from ancient manuscripts, and a self-described political philosopher) who came to rescue him. The narrator outfits Oregan with clothes from his own wardrobe, then visits Melinda that afternoon, who laughs at the duel story and shows him the dozens of unrequited love letters Oregan sent her. While her mother is out of the room, the narrator declares his desire to marry her; she says she has no objection to his person but requires her mother’s formal approval. He visits her mother the next day to formally request her hand, but the matron demands details of his financial settlement, and is unimpressed when he admits he has no landed estate and his personal finances are unorganized. When he returns the next day to explain further, the footman turns him away even though he can see Melinda inside, making clear he has been rejected. The narrator is more distressed on Strap’s account than his own, as he still holds tender feelings for Narcissa and knows his pursuit of Melinda was dishonorable. He feigns rage at Strap to comfort him, and Strap pretends to be unbothered, though the narrator can see he is deeply grieved by the lost fortune.
Chapter L opens with the narrator determined to exact revenge on Melinda for rejecting him, and to secure a new wealthy mistress to restore his finances. He turns to Billy Chatter, who arranges for him to dance with Miss Biddy Gripewell, a £30,000 heiress whose pawnbroker father died intestate, leaving her uneducated and overly proud, desperate to marry a duke or earl, and currently being manipulated by a society lady who plans to marry her off to a poor foot lieutenant. The narrator agrees to pose as a French marquis for the night to provoke Melinda’s jealousy. He consults Banter, who devises a humiliation scheme: Banter’s foolish, recently Paris-returned barber will pose as a well-traveled gentleman and be paired with Melinda at the assembly, so her interest in a low-status barber will be exposed to the entire crowd. Banter convinces the barber that Melinda is infatuated with him, dresses him in his own fine clothes, and has Chatter introduce him to Melinda.
At the private assembly, the narrator opens the ball with Miss Gripewell, who is covered in expensive jewels, drawing the attention of the entire room. Melinda is shocked and envious, unable to determine Gripewell’s identity, and Chatter deliberately ignores her questions. The narrator deliberately snubs Melinda when he passes her table, infuriating her so much she breaks her fan in a fit of pique. The barber then takes Melinda out to dance, performing with such ridiculous, over-the-top affectation that the entire room laughs at him. Melinda is so humiliated she pretends to fall ill and leaves early with the barber, who believes she is swooning with love for him. The next day, the barber naively reveals the truth to Melinda, who is so ashamed she withdraws from public life for weeks. Chatter is disgraced, losing his standing with the town’s ladies and his access to Miss Gripewell. The scheme has cost the narrator half his remaining funds, leaving him desperate and depressed. To escape his anxiety, he turns to heavy drinking, spends his time at the playhouse, and befriends a group of young law students (templars), cultivating a reputation as a sharp-witted critic to distract himself from his worsening poverty.
Soon after, he receives a romantic, poetically written billet-doux signed only “Your incognita,” declaring admiration for his character and asking if his heart is free. Thrilled, he imagines the sender is a wealthy young woman of high status, and writes back effusive replies, arranging for all correspondence to be sent via a milliner’s shop near Bond Street. Strap tails the messenger after the first delivery, and discovers the letter is being sent to the home of Sir John Sparkle, a notoriously miserly baronet whose only daughter is a beautiful young heiress with a £12,000 independent fortune, kept strictly isolated by her elderly, 70-year-old governess Miss Withers to prevent suitors from accessing her. The narrator is convinced the unknown admirer is Miss Sparkle, becomes so obsessed he forgets all about Narcissa, and spends his days walking past Sir John’s house hoping to catch a glimpse of her, believing he sees the young heiress watching him from an upper window. After several more exchanges, the unknown admirer agrees to meet him at the milliner’s shop.
When the appointed day arrives, the narrator rushes to the meeting, hears a woman in a silk gown coming up the stairs, and springs forward to embrace his supposed young admirer, only to find she is the wrinkled, elderly Miss Withers. Horrified, he forces himself to be polite, realizing he may still be able to gain access to Miss Sparkle by feigning interest in the governess. Miss Withers confesses she wrote the letters, having seen him at church and been captivated by his appearance, and declares her desire to marry him. She begins making flirtatious advances, but when she leans in to kiss him, the narrator is overwhelmed by the strong smell of garlic she had eaten that morning to “dispel wind.” Disgusted beyond measure, he flees the shop immediately, leaving Strap waiting outside. He later recounts the incident to Strap, who laments the narrator’s overly delicate sensibilities. Miss Withers never contacts him again, and the narrator is left no closer to meeting the wealthy Miss Sparkle he had imagined marrying, his matrimonial ambitions once again in ruins.
(Word count: 1124)
The original text of this work is in the public domain. This page focuses on a guided summary article, reading notes, selected quotes, and visual learning materials for educational purposes.