Researching Miss Sparkle’s Background via Dr. Wagtail
After dinner, the narrator saunters with Dr. Wagtail to the neighborhood of his inamorata. The narrator, acting as a mere register, inquires into the name, character, and fortune of everyone possessing a good house in the area. When Wagtail mentions Sir John Sparkle, he describes him as a man of immense estate but narrow disposition who keeps his only child, a fine young lady, secluded under the strict watch of an old governante. This governess is so honest, envious, or insatiable that nobody has yet gained access to her charge, though many attempt it daily. Wagtail reveals she has a fortune of twelve thousand pounds left by an uncle, which perfectly confirms the intelligence from the morning’s letter. The narrator’s emotion is visible to any observer except Wagtail, whose attention is too engrossed by contemplation of his own importance.
Arranging a Rendezvous with the Incognita
The narrator returns home and shares his findings with Strap, who is almost choked with transport and weeps with joy. A third billet-doux brings tender expressions mingled with doubts about artifice and inconstancy, requesting the narrator to excuse her testing him longer. These scruples add fuel to his flame, and he presses for an assignation with such entreaties that she consents to meet him at the milliner’s house. During the interval, the narrator’s pride soars beyond all reason and description, his thoughts wholly employed in planning triumphs over the world’s malice and contempt.
Shocking Discovery of the Incognita’s True Identity
The happy hour arrives, and the narrator flies to the rendezvous, conducted into an apartment where he waits in mounting ecstasy. The door opens, a gold brocade petticoat advances, and he springs forward to embrace his charmer—only to find Miss Sparkle is a wrinkled hag turned of seventy. Struck dumb with amazement and petrified with horror, he cannot command himself to behave with common civility. This ancient Urganda seizes his hand, asks if he is indisposed, and acts a thousand amorous coquetries, ogling him with dim eyes, lisping childish questions, giggling to conceal her teeth, sighing piteously, and flinging herself about to show her agility. When she explains she is Miss Withers, governess to Sir John Sparkle’s daughter, she had seen him at church, inquired into his character, and yielded to the violence of her inclination. She had written all the letters herself. The narrator considers that by continuing the appearance of an intrigue with the duenna, he might gain access to her ward, Miss Sparkle.
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