A Sharp Dialogue with the Captain
The officer, impatient of silence, attempts to engage conversation. Miss Snapper engages in witty repartee with him, comparing his conversation to a meeting of Quakers. When he swears he has got into a meeting of Quakers, she replies that the spirit of folly begins to move. Their sharp dialogue continues with witty exchanges about midwifes and folly, with Miss Snapper landing the final blow that leaves the warrior’s powder spent.
The Lieutenant’s Tale of the Standard
The officer, having been smartly handled, changes his battery and begins to expatiate on his own exploits. He recounts being wounded at Dettingen by a pistol ball in the shoulder. He tells of recovering a lost regiment’s standard from a French guardsman, shooting the horse, running the man through the body, and being wounded again by a comrade. He tells of the cowardly cornet demanding the standard back and his reply demanding to know where the cornet lost it. Despite this brave deed, he remains no more than a poor lieutenant.
The Officer’s Song
The lieutenant, unwilling to conceal any of his accomplishments, offers to regale the company with a song. He warbles a fashionable air with nonsensical words, perverting the sense with surprising facility. Miss Snapper ascribes this to ignorance and observes that the music and words are much of a piece. The officer takes this as a compliment, believing the words are damnably fine.
Legal Banter
The lawyer interposes by telling the officer there are some things he must not speak, and upon being defied, mentions treason and defamation. When the officer declares he dares say anything to any other man, the lawyer responds that the officer dares not call him rogue because he would have good action against him and recover. The officer declares he dares think the lawyer a rogue, accompanying this stroke of wit with a loud laugh of self-approbation that does not affect the audience and silences his antagonist for an hour.
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