不可儿戏：一部给严肃人的轻喜剧

Jack, in a voice of clear, cold fury, recites Cecily’s three addresses and her distinguished solicitors, Messrs. Markby, Markby, and Markby, one of whom is occasionally seen at dinner parties. He also produces certificates of her birth, baptism, registration, vaccination, confirmation, measles—German and English. Lady Bracknell, mollified by the hundred and thirty thousand pounds in the Funds and by Cecily’s profile, which displays distinct social possibilities, gives her consent to the marriage. Style, it seems, has carried the day, and Algernon, embracing his bride, does not care twopence about social possibilities at all.

Part 7

The final act opens in triumph for Cecily, whom Lady Bracknell embraces and invites to call her “Aunt Augusta.” The matriarch decrees a short engagement, dismissing long courtships as opportunities to discover a partner’s character before marriage, which she calls “never advisable.” Jack intervenes as Cecily’s guardian, flatly refusing consent to her marriage to Algernon, citing his nephew’s poor moral character. He lists Algernon’s offenses with relish: faking an identity to enter the house, stealing a pint of Perrier-Jouët Brut ’89, devouring Cecily’s muffins, and alienating her affections. Lady Bracknell, momentarily impressed by his firmness, offers to overlook Algernon’s conduct, but Jack remains unmoved. Lady Bracknell turns sweetly to Cecily to ask her age. When Cecily admits to 18, 20 at evening parties, Lady Bracknell pronounces this “perfectly right”—no woman should be “quite accurate about her age.” Jack counters that per Cecily’s grandfather’s will, she does not come of age until 35. Lady Bracknell argues London society has many women who remain 35 “of their own free choice,” citing Lady Dumbleton, who has been 35 since turning 40. Cecily refuses to wait, declaring “I hate waiting even five minutes for anybody,” and the negotiation collapses. Jack makes his bargain explicit: if Lady Bracknell consents to his marriage with Gwendolen, he will allow Cecily to wed Algernon. Lady Bracknell rejects the proposal as “out of the question,” preparing to depart, complaining they have missed five, if not six, trains. Dr. Chasuble arrives to announce “everything is quite ready for the christenings,” provoking Lady Bracknell’s horrified veto: baptism at their age is “irreligious,” something Lord Bracknell would never countenance. When Chasuble mentions Miss Prism is waiting for him in the vestry, Lady Bracknell freezes. Her interrogation identifies Miss Prism as the “female of repellent aspect, remotely connected with education” she sought, and Miss Prism stands before her trembling. Lady Bracknell demands to know the fate of a male infant entrusted to Miss Prism 28 years prior outside Number 104, Upper Grosvenor Street. Miss Prism confesses: in a moment of mental abstraction, she placed her novel manuscript in the perambulator and put the baby in a hand-bag, which she abandoned in the cloak-room of Victoria Station’s Brighton line. Jack returns clutching a black leather hand-bag, which Miss Prism identifies by its old injuries and her initials. Jack declares trembling that he is the baby she placed in it. Miss Prism recoils at being called “mother” and directs him to Lady Bracknell, who reveals Jack is the son of her late sister Mrs. Moncrieff, making him Algernon’s elder brother. Jack seizes Algernon in delirious delight, calling him a “young scoundrel” who must learn to treat him with respect. The only remaining question is Jack’s name on the Army Lists. He ransacks bookcases and finds it: General Ernest John Moncrieff. He turns to Gwendolen almost shyly: “I always told you, Gwendolen, my name was Ernest, didn’t I? Well, it is Ernest after all.” Gwendolen forgives him instantly on the grounds he is “sure to change.” The couples embrace in quick succession: Chasuble and Miss Prism, Algernon and Cecily, Jack and Gwendolen. Lady Bracknell observes Algernon is “displaying signs of triviality,” and Jack delivers the closing line: “On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, I’ve now realised for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.”