Once the others depart, Jack angrily demands that Algernon leave the estate immediately by ordering the dog-cart to send him back to town. Algernon refuses to depart while Jack is in mourning, criticizing his friend’s vanity and the absurdity of wearing black clothes for a brother who is actually present. Jack agrees to change out of his mourning suit if Algernon agrees to catch the train, retreating to the house to do so. Left alone while Jack changes, Algernon intercepts Cecily in the garden and confesses his love. He proposes marriage, but Cecily accepts instantly with a calm surprise, revealing that they are already engaged in her imagination and have been for three months. She explains that his bad reputation as Jack’s wicked brother made him irresistibly attractive, leading her to fall in love with the idea of him and record the entire courtship in her diary long before they ever met. Algernon, overwhelmed by her detailed fantasy, asks when the engagement was actually settled. Cecily responds that she accepted him in February, endured a temporary break in March, and finally accepted his proposal via his diary in April.
Cecily’s imaginary courtship proves far more elaborate than Algernon anticipated, complete with letters, gifts, and a dramatic breakup. Yet her devotion carries a fatal condition: she could never love anyone not named Ernest. Algernon must now secure that name through an immediate christening if he hopes to claim his fictional fiancée.
Cecily recounts the elaborate, entirely imaginary history of her engagement to Algernon, whom she believes to be Ernest. On February fourteenth, worn out by his ignorance of her existence, she accepted him under the old tree in the garden. She purchased a ring in his name and a bangle with a true lover’s knot. She shows him a box of letters tied with blue ribbon—all written by herself, since he never wrote any. She even describes a fictional breakup on March twenty-second, when the weather was charming, because a truly serious engagement must be broken off at least once. Algernon is enchanted by her romantic inventiveness, kissing her and admiring her hair.
But Cecily confesses a girlish dream: she could never love anyone not named Ernest. The name inspires absolute confidence. She pities any married woman whose husband bears another name. Algernon, horrified, suggests his actual name—Algernon—but she rejects it outright. She might respect him, she admits, but she could not give him her undivided attention. Desperate, Algernon asks about Dr. Chasuble and rushes off to arrange an immediate christening, promising to return in half an hour. Cecily, left alone, enters his proposal in her diary.
Merriman announces a visitor: Miss Fairfax has called on important business. Gwendolen enters, and the two women exchange eager compliments. Gwendolen declares they will be great friends; her first impressions are never wrong. They sit together, and Gwendolen mentions her father, Lord Bracknell, unknown outside the family circle. She examines Cecily through a lorgnette, expressing satisfaction that Cecily is Jack’s ward rather than his wife—though she wishes the ward were older and less alluring, given Ernest’s noble but susceptible nature. The conversation turns dangerous when Cecily reveals she is engaged to Mr. Ernest Worthing.
Gwendolen rises with perfect politeness. There must be some error: Ernest is engaged to her. The announcement will appear in the Morning Post on Saturday. Cecily counters that Ernest proposed ten minutes ago, showing her diary. Gwendolen produces her own diary, noting that Ernest proposed yesterday at five-thirty. Each woman claims prior right. The rivalry sharpens into accusation—Gwendolen suggests entrapment, Cecily retorts that Ernest has clearly changed his mind. They drop the shallow mask of manners.
Merriman arrives with tea, and the servants’ presence forces a strained ceasefire. The women exchange barbs disguised as conversation. Gwendolen disparages the country, its crowds, its flowers. Cecily sweetly suggests that flowers are as common in the country as people are in London. When Gwendolen requests no sugar, Cecily puts in four lumps. When Gwendolen asks for bread and butter, Cecily serves a large slice of cake. Gwendolen’s indignation finally breaks through her composure.
Jack and Algernon return. Gwendolen embraces Jack as Ernest, but Cecily identifies him as her guardian, Mr. John Worthing. Algernon approaches Cecily, only to be identified by Gwendolen as her cousin, Mr. Algernon Moncrieff. The truth emerges: neither man is named Ernest. The women realize they have been deceived by a fiction. Abandoning their rivalry, they embrace as sisters in shared victimhood. They turn to the men with a single question: where is your brother Ernest? They are both engaged to him, and his whereabouts is a matter of some importance. The men can only groan.
The women’s demand for Ernest’s whereabouts forces the men to confront the impossibility of their position. With no brother to produce and their deceptions exposed, Jack and Algernon must attempt to explain the inexplicable.
In the garden, Jack and Algernon attempt to explain themselves to the furious Gwendolen and Cecily. Jack confesses that he has no brother Ernest and never has, while Algernon admits his own deception. The women, realizing they’re not engaged to anyone named Ernest, retreat into the house in disgust. Left alone, the men argue over the failure of their Bunburying schemes. Jack criticizes Algernon’s treatment of Cecily, while Algernon mocks Jack’s courtship of Gwendolen. Their bickering turns to the muffins on the table, which Algernon eats calmly to console himself, much to Jack’s irritation. They eventually reveal that both have arranged to be christened Ernest by Dr. Chasuble that afternoon, leading to a dispute over who has the right to the name.
Inside the drawing-room, Gwendolen and Cecily observe the men from the window, interpreting their consumption of muffins as a sign of repentance. When the men enter, the women demand explanations. Algernon claims he deceived Cecily solely to meet her, a response Cecily finds beautiful despite its falsity. Jack offers a similar excuse to Gwendolen. The women agree that in matters of grave importance, style is valued over sincerity. However, they point out that the men’s Christian names remain an insuperable barrier. The men announce their intention to be christened Ernest that very afternoon, a gesture of self-sacrifice that moves the women to forgive them. The couples embrace just as Lady Bracknell arrives.
Lady Bracknell immediately forbids Gwendolen’s engagement to Jack, citing his lack of connections and parentage. She then turns her attention to Algernon, inquiring about the death of his invalid friend Mr. Bunbury. Algernon claims Bunbury has exploded, a lie Lady Bracknell accepts as a sign of definite action under medical advice. Upon discovering that Algernon is holding hands with Cecily, Lady Bracknell demands an inquiry into the girl’s origins. She is horrified to learn that Cecily has connections to the railway, but Jack produces documentation proving Cecily is the granddaughter of the late Mr. Thomas Cardew and has solicitors of the highest standing. When Jack casually mentions Cecily’s fortune of a hundred and thirty thousand pounds, Lady Bracknell’s demeanor instantly shifts. She declares Cecily a most attractive young lady with distinct social possibilities and grants Algernon her consent to marry.
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