The Adventures of Roderick Random

Bragwell Boasts of Dueling Prowess

After the tinder water prank, Chatter shifts the conversation to the recent Hampstead assembly, noting that Bragwell’s mistress Melinda attended and seemed to miss him. Bragwell brushes off the comment, boasting that he has no interest in socializing with women due to his unruly temper that frequently draws him into duels. He claims he fears no risk in drawing his sword against any opponent, has drawn and shed blood in past duels, and has been trained by his fencing master to disable any adversary without killing them to avoid a Middlesex murder conviction.

Crucifix Painting Prank on Bragwell

Slyboot, a painter, tells Bragwell he is working on a painting of Jesus on the cross at the moment the spear is thrust into his side, and asks Bragwell to allow him to observe Bragwell non-lethally stab someone in the left side so he can capture the natural agony of the moment for his artwork. Wagtail takes the request seriously, offering to explain the anatomy of the chest area to Bragwell to avoid lethal injury. Bragwell initially seems receptive before declining, claiming he only fights when his honor is engaged; the entire exchange is a prank designed to mock Bragwell’s dueling boasts.

Staged Paternity Accusation Against Wagtail

As the night wears on and drinking intensifies, a waiter enters to inform Wagtail a woman is waiting below to speak to him. The group pressures Wagtail to let her join them, and Ranter brings a tall sex worker into the room. The woman delivers a dramatic, fabricated speech accusing Wagtail of seducing her, stealing her virginity, fathering her unborn four-month child, and abandoning her to poverty, demanding he marry her to make amends. Wagtail is horrified and denies knowing her, but the group pretends to believe the accusation, mocking him throughout the interaction. Wagtail eventually agrees to pay the woman half a guinea to leave him alone, and when she demands a parting kiss, she bites his cheek hard before leaving the room.

Mock Treatment of Wagtail’s Alleged Bite

After the woman bites Wagtail’s cheek and leaves, the group pretends the bite is from a rabid person to continue mocking him. Banter suggests branding the wound with a hot poker, Ranter proposes Bragwell stab the affected area with his sword to scoop out the infected tissue, and Slyboot claims to have a surefire cure for mad dog bites. Slyboot pulls out a bladder of black paint and smears it over Wagtail’s cheek and most of his face, leaving him in a frightful state. Terrified and distraught, Wagtail is sent home in a chair at Random’s insistence, out of pity for his extreme distress.

Ranter Forced to Leap Over a Sword

After the prank on Wagtail, Slyboot whispers to Random that Bragwell has been rude to him, prompting Random to publicly rebuke Slyboot and warn both Slyboot and Bragwell that he will not tolerate ill treatment. Ranter, seeking to stir up trouble, lies to Bragwell claiming Random insulted and threatened to beat him. Enraged, Bragwell draws his sword, and Random does the same, demanding Ranter leap over the sword held parallel to the floor three feet off the ground. When Ranter refuses and tries to flee, Bragwell prods him with his sword, forcing him to jump over the sword before he escapes the room.

Tavern Revelry Ends with Banter’s Apology

The night ends near 2 a.m. after the group pays their tab. The painter slips away without saying goodbye, an extremely drunk Chatter is sent to a bagnio, and Bragwell is left asleep on a bench at Moll King’s coffee-house after kicking several sex workers. Random and Banter leave Bragwell and walk toward Charing Cross, where both men live. During the walk, Banter apologizes for the earlier joke he made about Random being a French valet, explaining it was only a joke targeting Wagtail’s excessive seriousness and that he actually formed a favorable impression of Random from their first meeting. The two part as friends, with Banter promising to meet Random at the ordinary the next day.