A Quarrel Over a Private Room
Captain Weazel demands a private room with a fire for himself and his wife, but the landlord refuses. Miss Jenny objects to his pretensions, suggesting he wait for the other passengers to finish their meal if he insists on dining alone.
Miss Jenny’s Retorts
Incensed by the captain’s haughty manner, Miss Jenny launches a tirade, calling Mrs. Weazel a “ten-pound sneaker” and “quality-coupler,” and denouncing the captain as a “pitiful, trencher-scraping, pimping curler” who has purchased his commission dishonorably.
Supper Together
After the waggon master mediates the quarrel, the passengers reconcile and sit down to supper together.
Strap’s Midnight Mistake
At midnight, Strap rises to relieve himself but, in the darkness, mistakes the doors and enters Captain Weazel’s chamber, climbing into what he believes is his own bed.
The Captain’s Retaliation
The captain, having just found a substitute chamberpot and being himself in the dark, mistakes Strap’s rough head for Miss Jenny’s and, scandalized by the perceived assignation, empties the vessel onto the sleeping barber.
Mrs. Weazel’s Ire
Mrs. Weazel, furious at being drenched, strikes the captain repeatedly with the heel of her shoe, berating him as a jealous “man of lath” and a “poor, withered, sapless twig.”
Miss Jenny’s Outcry
Awakened by the noise, Miss Jenny cries out “Rape! Murder!” accusing the old usurer of attempting to assault her in her sleep, and calling for help.
The Usurer’s Plight
The servants find the old usurer sprawled on Miss Jenny’s bed, where she holds him by the ears and claims he tried to ruin her. He protests he is innocent, calls her a devil, and threatens to hang himself before she can extort money from him.
A Diverting Scene
The servants arrive with lights to find a diverting tableau: the captain stands shivering in his torn shirt, his wife sobs on the bed covered with the counterpane, the old usurer cowers with his meagre limbs exposed, and Miss Jenny cries violation while holding him fast.
Reconciliation
The captain apologizes to his wife, and they are reconciled. Mrs. Weazel is accommodated with Miss Jenny’s bed, the captain sleeps with the waggon master, and the narrator retires to find Strap already gone, having fled in terror during the confusion.
CAPÍTULO XII.
Chapter XII continues the picaresque narrative journey with Captain Weazel engaging in a series of confrontations and comedic misadventures while traveling toward London in a waggon. The chapter exposes the captain’s cowardice and bluster through multiple trials, culminating in a practical joke orchestrated by Joey and the narrator that leaves the puffed-up officer thoroughly humiliated.
Captain Weazel Challenges Strap
Captain Weazel bursts into the kitchen the next morning with a drawn sword, vowing revenge on whoever attempted to violate his bed. The incensed captain threatens the trembling Strap, who stands behind the narrator. Various attempts at reconciliation fail, and the captain demands either a fight or threatens instant death. When Strap offers to box for a guinea, the captain disdainfully rejects the proposal, insisting it would be beneath a gentleman’s dignity to engage in such a manner. Joey interjects, pleading with the captain not to commit murder and suggesting alternatives like cudgeling, which Strap eventually accepts. However, Captain Weazel dismisses this proposal as well, revealing his reluctance to actually fight anyone.
An Affair Between the Captain and the Narrator
Recognizing the captain’s bluster, the narrator invokes the code of honor that allows the challenged party to choose weapons. Offering that Strap would fight at sharps—specifically razors, the tool of his barber’s trade—the narrator observes the captain’s color change dramatically. Strap urgently whispers for the narrator not to make such a bargain. Recovering himself, the captain turns furiously on the narrator, demanding to know who he is and threatening him with the sword. Springing aside from the blade held within half a foot of his breast, the narrator grabs an iron spit from the chimney corner and successfully defends himself, driving the formidable captain into a corner amid the company’s amusement. When the captain’s wife enters and screams at the sight of her husband’s predicament, a cessation is demanded and granted. The standoff ends with Strap kneeling and begging pardon for the innocent mistake, allowing the company to proceed to breakfast without bloodshed.
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