Strap Confirms the Billet-Doux is from Miss Sparkle
Strap returns within an hour with joyful news: he saw the letter given to a chairman who carried it to a nearby rich gentleman’s house, where a waiting-woman received it. At an alehouse, Strap learned that the gentleman had an only daughter, very handsome, who would inherit his whole estate—the author of the billet. The narrator dresses and passes the house in great state, perceiving a beautiful young creature at the window who observes him with more than common curiosity. He congratulates himself on having made a conquest of such perfection. Early next day, he receives another epistle from his unknown admirer, expressing joy at his response and satisfaction that he values her understanding over external beauty. She promises an interview once satisfied of his honorable intentions and mentions her fortune is independent, being her own without restriction. Strap renews his watch and confirms Miss Sparkle is indeed the correspondent, shut the casement in beautiful confusion upon seeing the messenger arrive.
Romantic Courtship Correspondence with the Incognita
The narrator composes response after response, launching into encomiums on the dignity of her sentiments, affecting to undervalue external charms and ground his passion on the qualities of her mind. He complains of her rigour in sacrificing his repose to decorum and declares the purity of his designs in solemn vows. A third billet arrives containing expressions of tenderness mixed with affecting doubts about man’s artifice and youth’s inconstancy, desiring to try him a little longer before declaring herself. These interesting scruples add fuel to his flame, and he presses her to an assignation with such fervent entreaties that she consents to meet him at the milliner’s house. During the interval, his pride soars beyond all reason; he loses all remembrance of gentle Narcissa and plans triumphs over the world’s malice.
Researching Miss Sparkle’s Background via Dr. Wagtail
After dinner, the narrator saunters with Dr. Wagtail to the neighborhood of his inamorata. The narrator, acting as a mere register, inquires into the name, character, and fortune of everyone possessing a good house in the area. When Wagtail mentions Sir John Sparkle, he describes him as a man of immense estate but narrow disposition who keeps his only child, a fine young lady, secluded under the strict watch of an old governante. This governess is so honest, envious, or insatiable that nobody has yet gained access to her charge, though many attempt it daily. Wagtail reveals she has a fortune of twelve thousand pounds left by an uncle, which perfectly confirms the intelligence from the morning’s letter. The narrator’s emotion is visible to any observer except Wagtail, whose attention is too engrossed by contemplation of his own importance.
Arranging a Rendezvous with the Incognita
The narrator returns home and shares his findings with Strap, who is almost choked with transport and weeps with joy. A third billet-doux brings tender expressions mingled with doubts about artifice and inconstancy, requesting the narrator to excuse her testing him longer. These scruples add fuel to his flame, and he presses for an assignation with such entreaties that she consents to meet him at the milliner’s house. During the interval, the narrator’s pride soars beyond all reason and description, his thoughts wholly employed in planning triumphs over the world’s malice and contempt.
Shocking Discovery of the Incognita’s True Identity
The happy hour arrives, and the narrator flies to the rendezvous, conducted into an apartment where he waits in mounting ecstasy. The door opens, a gold brocade petticoat advances, and he springs forward to embrace his charmer—only to find Miss Sparkle is a wrinkled hag turned of seventy. Struck dumb with amazement and petrified with horror, he cannot command himself to behave with common civility. This ancient Urganda seizes his hand, asks if he is indisposed, and acts a thousand amorous coquetries, ogling him with dim eyes, lisping childish questions, giggling to conceal her teeth, sighing piteously, and flinging herself about to show her agility. When she explains she is Miss Withers, governess to Sir John Sparkle’s daughter, she had seen him at church, inquired into his character, and yielded to the violence of her inclination. She had written all the letters herself. The narrator considers that by continuing the appearance of an intrigue with the duenna, he might gain access to her ward, Miss Sparkle.
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