The Adventures of Roderick Random

Companions Roast Doctor Wagtail with Absurd Pranks

Companions Roast Doctor Wagtail with Absurd Pranks

Settled in their room with French wine and supper ordered, the group turns Wagtail into a butt for the wit of the painter and the player. Ranter pretends to be afflicted with hoarseness, low spirits, and indigestion, drawing Wagtail into a pompous learned harangue upon prognostics, diagnostics, symptomatics, therapeutics, inanition, and repletion. Ranter then invents “tinder water” as a universal specific, attributing it to a German monk and Paracelsus; Slyboot counters that it was first used by Solomon, citing a Greek manuscript supposedly discovered at the foot of Mount Lebanon. Wagtail swallows every absurdity and grows enthusiastic about putting the scheme into practice, earnestly inquiring where he might obtain a glass retort large enough and a source of animal heat sufficient for the operation.

Companions Share Trivial and Boorish Anecdotes

Companions Share Trivial and Boorish Anecdotes

Chatter breaks a long silence with a tedious recital of the dress and ornaments of every person at the last Hampstead assembly. Bragwell boasts of his duelling exploits, claiming he can wound any antagonist in a vital yet non-lethal spot; Slyboot, in turn, asks Bragwell to pink a man so he can study the agony for a painting of the crucified Christ, and Wagtail gravely offers anatomical instruction. The wine goes freely about: Bragwell grows noisy, Banter more severe, Ranter rehearses, Slyboot makes faces at the company, Random sings French catches, Chatter kisses him with affection, while the doctor sits in dismal silence. Bragwell caps the debauch with a proposal to “scour the hundreds, sweat the constable, maul the watch, and reel soberly to bed.”