The Adventures of Roderick Random

Feigned Courtship for Miss Sparkle

Withers reveals she is the governess of Sir John Sparkle’s only daughter, having saved a comfortable sufficiency from her position. She confesses that she first noticed the protagonist at church, inquired into his character, found it amiable, and ventured to declare her passion regardless of decorum. The protagonist, although sickened at finding only the crazy casket instead of the jewel, perceives that by feigning an intrigue with the duenna he might gain access to the real Miss Sparkle. Encouraged, he drops his reserve, talks cavalierly, and begins making love to the antiquated coquette, who beams with delight while a discreet matron provides tea and sweetmeats before withdrawing.

Garlic-Fueled Romantic Disaster

Left alone, Miss Withers, still technically a maiden, begins pressing the subject of matrimony with such impatience that, had she been fifty years younger, the protagonist admits he might have obliged her without recourse to the church. He resolves to defer the ceremony as long as possible under specious pretexts in order to become acquainted with Miss Sparkle through her governess. Delighted by this prospect, he talks in raptures to the state governante and kisses her shrivelled hand with great devotion, at which she is so transported that she flings herself upon him like a tigress and presses her skinny lips to his—only for a dose of garlic she had taken that morning to explode with such a sudden stench that he loses all patience and reflection.

Hasty Flight From the Meeting

Unable to endure the garlic-fueled assault, the protagonist flings himself away, snatches his hat and cane, and flees down the stairs as though pursued by the devil, barely able to contain the convulsions of his bowels. Strap, who had been waiting impatiently for his return, sees him arrive in the utmost disorder and stands motionless with apprehension, too alarmed to inquire into the cause of his master’s condition.