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Their theological skirmish is interrupted by the arrival of Jack, dressed in deepest mourning with crape hatband and black gloves. The dramatic news follows swiftly: his brother Ernest is dead, having perished in Paris from a severe chill. Miss Prism hopes the rake will profit by it; Chasuble offers condolences and mentions his adaptable sermon on the manna in the wilderness. But Jack has not merely come to mourn—he wishes to be christened himself, this very afternoon, if Chasuble has nothing better to do. The rector, somewhat bewildered, agrees, and they settle on half-past five, well away from the Jenkins twins.
Cecily then bursts from the house to announce the real surprise: her Uncle Jack’s brother Ernest has arrived and is in the dining-room. Jack’s horror is absolute—he has no brother. But Cecily pleads with him, invoking the fictional invalid Mr. Bunbury as evidence of Ernest’s goodness. Jack refuses to take his brother’s hand, calls his presence disgraceful, but finally relents under Cecily’s threat never to forgive him. Chasuble beams at the “perfect reconciliation,” and the two clergymen lead Cecily away.
Once alone, Jack denounces Algernon as a scoundrel and demands he leave on the four-five train. Algernon, equally immovable, declares he cannot abandon a host in mourning and refuses to depart unless Jack changes his ridiculous clothes. The butler Merriman compounds the chaos by reporting that Ernest’s luggage has been unpacked next to Jack’s room. The two men volley insults—vanity, ridiculousness, grotesque mourning—until Jack storms inside. Algernon, left alone, admits he is hopelessly in love with Cecily and must see her again before going.
Cecily returns to water the roses, and the two begin a flirtation conducted through her diary. When Algernon declares her “the visible personification of absolute perfection,” she insists on copying his words down. He rhapsodizes wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly, and she gently observes that “hopelessly doesn’t seem to make much sense.” Then she drops her bombshell: they have been engaged for three months, since February fourteenth, and she has accepted him, bought him a ring, and even written his love letters for him.
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